Topic: A funny joke for you

To much of the 90's

You try to enter your password in the microwave.
You now think of three coffee's as getting wasted.
Every commercial on tv has a web-site at the bottom of the screen.
You have a list of sixteen phone numbers to reach your family of three.

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Mary had a little lamb....So she shot the sheperd

Oh Brian ...........

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Please feel free - I love sharing jokes. There is so much doom and gloom these days, anything which raises is smile is a plus! Thanks, Gill

These jokes are so funny I am in tears of laughter and I've reached only page 4 !

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INNER PEACE

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.

A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished,and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclits. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis.

Oh I love it !!!!:D

My sister-in -law is having a difficult time lately , it's perfect to send to her to bring a smile.

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An elderly senior couple were invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.

She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her host to say,
'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years ,
you still call your husband all those loving pet names'.

The elderly lady hung her head.
'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago,
and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old *******
what his name is!'
.

Love it ! :D

Have you heard about the latest edition to Barbie dolls? This one is called 'Divorce Barbie, and it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's bank account, Ken's portfolio.....

I rear-ended a car this morning...

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get sooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!' :mad:


So, I looked down at him and said ’Well then.. which one are you?'
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That is brilliant - had me laughing so much my OH actually looked up from doing his Sudoku to ask what the joke was !!! (joke I was referring to was from GER Scotland on p.10 re Cunard and P&O).Sorry - got the reply in wrong place as I was quietly having hysterics !! Apologies, I'm still having hysterics - it's page 9 !!!

Whilst walking along in front of his church, a minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5 year old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that a proper burial should be performed, they had found a small box and some cotton wool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said. 'Glory be to the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes'!

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
'I'm just wasting my time', she complained to her mother - 'I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk'.