Topic: A funny joke for you

A man buys a parrot and is assured by the vendor that was an excellent talker . Taking his pet home the man is horrified to hear the vulgar language coming from the parrot at the top of his voice.

After trying in vain to stop the bird he gives him one last warning , saying he will be punished if he doesn't stop. At this the bird screeches so the man puts him in the freezer.

Two hours later he takes him out and the bedraggled , very cold and silent parrot looks at him balefully. ' May I ask a question ? ' whispers the parrot.

' I suppose so' answered the man.

The bird sidles up and quietly speaks ......... ' What did the chicken do ? '

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Everything looks set for 'Tiger Woods' wife to divorce him.
Apparently she relised that once she was single again, she stood a better chance of sleeping with him.
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Sky have just won the rights to show the worlds first Origami Championships from Tokio.

Apparently its only available on paper veiw.

A Chinese man goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his money he asks, ' Why I come in yesterday with same amount but today I get less yuan?'
The cashier replies, 'fluctuations', and the Chinese man responds, 'fluck to you Blitish, too'.

A blonde was at her PC and was entering her password.

'MickeyMinnieLouiePlutoHueyDeweyDonnaldGoofy'

Her husband saw this and asked why she had such a long password, to which she replied

"It told me that it had to be at least eight charactors long".
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QUOTE:

A blonde was at her PC and was entering her password.

'MickeyMinnieLouiePlutoHueyDeweyDonnaldGoofy'

Her husband saw this and asked why she had such a long password, to which she replied

"It told me that it had to be at least eight charactors long".
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Are you telling me I didn't need to use the seven dwarves plus Snow White? Well you live and learn! now were did I put that peroxide? Carol

QUOTE:

Are you telling me I didn't need to use the seven dwarves plus Snow White? Well you live and learn! now were did I put that peroxide? Carol

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Your comment made me smile more than my joke did when I first heard it Carol. :D :D
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Well thank you. I'm wasted working for the NHS! when's the next "Britains thinks it's got Talent" Carol

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries Paid the bills and balanced the cheque book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then, it was already 1pm And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher,Folded laundry,Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - 'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

Evolution of British maths teaching

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?


2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?
.

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is
£80. Did he make a profit?
.

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


5. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. ) .