Topic: A funny joke for you

An elderly lady was stood by the ships rail in a strong breeze, while holding onto her hat; her skirts blew up around her waist.
A man walking past said in her ear, excuse me madam when your skirt lifts with the wind, you are showing everything down below.
Young man she says, everything down below is 75 yrs old, the hat is brand new. :D

I like the one-liners - "Yes, but did you enjoy the PLAY, Mrs. Lincoln?". Or - "I don't care WHO your Dad is, you're not walking on this water when I'M fishing".

how does the mummy fire engine know where the baby fire engine is..............the baby engine says its me maw me maw.
my youngest daughters joke when she was 4 yrs old.

[QUOTE=Neil Down, Southampton;21160]Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I’m schizophrenic
And so am I


of being a schizophrenic is that you are never lonely.

If I seem paranoid it`s only because everyone is after me.

And never forget the 3 good points of Alzheimer's.....

1) You make new friends every day.

2) At Easter, you can hide your own eggs then hunt for them.

3) You make new friends every day.

QUOTE:

I like the one-liners - "Yes, but did you enjoy the PLAY, Mrs. Lincoln?". Or - "I don't care WHO your Dad is, you're not walking on this water when I'M fishing".

Following on from that.

You can take your five loaves and 50,000 and feed them somewhere else.

Cruisings Cool

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Horse walks into a bar with a set jump leads, the barman said to the horse " I dont mind the long face but dont go starting anything" :D :D
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Cruisings Cool

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

....If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

....What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

....They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

....Experience is the one thing you have left when everything else is gone.

....One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

....My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

....I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

....The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

....How can there be self help "groups"?

....Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

....Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The point of origami is two fold.

A distraught farmer finds all his cows frozen in the snow. He prays to God for help. A woman appears & puts her arms over his icy cows. the immediately defrost. "Thank you" said the grateful farmer,"are you an angel sent by God?"
"No" says the woman,
" I'm Thora Herd!!"