Topic: A funny joke for you

Hogwarts school was even closed in last week's snow..........But only for a short spell !!!!

Why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell?

I used to be apathetic, but now I couldn't care less.

3 yr. old boy in bath, examining testicles, says "Mummy, are these my brains?" Mummy replies, "not yet".

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the whole weekend!"..Carol

Dyslexic boy asks his mum " Can I have a McDonalds for tea?"
She says,"If you can spell it you can"
He says" Never mind I'll just have a KCF"

A Penguin walks into a bar and sez to the barman
"Have you seen my brother"
the barman replied
"I dont know, what does he look like"
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Cruisings Cool

'How do you get a glass of water in this restaurant without paying'? 'Set yourself on fire Sir'

People go on cruises to forget things and when they open their suitcases find out they did

God pops into the Garden of Eden and says, 'now then, me old flowers' (of course he was from Yorkshire!), I've just finished all me creating and I've got 2 things left over, so you can have one each. The first is a dangly thing that lets you pee standing up'....At which point Adam interrupts, yelling 'me, me, please me, can I have that, can I, can I'. God looks at Eve who smiles and nods, so with a wave of His hand Adam has the dangly bit. Off he, goes, squealing with delight, peeing up trees, on rocks, writing his name in the sand, trying to hit the centre of flowers (and missing!) while Eve watches on, indulgently. 'Right then, Eve lass, you can have the last thing'. 'Yes, please', says Eve, 'what is it?' And God replies 'BRAINS'.

Nice one Gill. I'm sending that one on if you don't mind.

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

He said... If you only could learn to make me a proper meal, then we could manage without the cook. And if you cleaned the house, we could fire the maid as well.
She said...Darling, if you only could learn to satisfy me properly we could do without the gardener too.

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?
She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.

He said... Shall we try a different position tonight?
She said...That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.