Topic: A funny joke for you

This one is especially for you, Hampshire Thorn!

THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS. THE CLASS
WAS IN FULL SWING.

THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND
WAS TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR
PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY.

SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU. WALKING IS
ESPECIALLY BENEFICIAL. IT STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC MUSCLES AND WILL
MAKE DELIVERY THAT MUCH EASIER!" JUST TAKE SEVERAL STOPS AND STAY ON A SOFT SURFACE LIKE GRASS OR A PATH.

SHE LOOKED AT THE MEN IN THE ROOM, "AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER -- YOU'RE
IN THIS TOGETHER --- IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU TO GO WALKING WITH HER."

THE ROOM SUDDENLY GOT VERY QUIET AS THE MEN ABSORBED THIS INFORMATION.
THEN A MAN AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM SLOWLY RAISED HIS HAND.

"YES?" ANSWERED THE TEACHER.

"I WAS JUST WONDERING. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF SHE CARRIES A GOLF BAG
WHILE WE WALK?"

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying
with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids
for a while when he came into the house and asked
her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people
sleep in the same room and one is on top of the
other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided
to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'

Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside
to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said
angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'

[QUOTE=Gill Nickson, Albox;129412]This one is especially for you, Hampshire Thorn!

Thanks Gill, I've sent it on to my golf buddies.

A woman went to her doctor for advice.

She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

"Do you enjoy it?" the doctor asked. "Actually, yes, I do" she said. '
'Does it hurt you", he asked? "No - it's fine. ''Well, then," the
doctor continued, "there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal
sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get
pregnant."

The woman was mystified.
"What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
"Of course", the doctor replied.
"Where do you think politicians come from?"

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed.
It is reported to have been listed in the Melbourne Herald Sun.


SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your ute, hunting, camping and fishing trips,
cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call ( 01409434328) and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....

(Please scroll down ) ..




(UNFORTUNATELY THE PICTURE OF A BLACK LABRADOR HASN'T COME THROUGH!)




Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the RSPCA StKilda.

.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Father O'Malley was transferred to Texas.

He rose from his bed one morning.

It was a fine spring day in his new mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......

The conversation went like this:

''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day te yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit:

''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment...........................................

''Aye, 'tis certainly true, son. But we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

.
There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig.
The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the pavement and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
Finally he had to ask them.

He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!"

The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the tree in the hole is off sick today."

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car..
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'

'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ... so we're just waiting.

.
Q. What do you call a gorilla whith no legs?

A. Anything you like, he cant chase you......

Corny or what.