Topic: A funny joke for you

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

At a captains cocktail party one woman said to another
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger"?
The other replies.
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man".
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My friend died in a bowl of Muesli, she was pulled in by a strong current. -----------------------------------------------------------------
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Cruisings Cool

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Two aerials met an a roof, fell in love and got married, the ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
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Cruisings Cool

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashes. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife what's up. "Well," she replied, "Not everyone is as cheap as you are."

The Girls will like this one.

A man sez to his wife,
"Darling shall we swap positions tonight"

"That's a great idea" she said.

"Why dont you come and stand over here by the ironing board while I lay on the settee" :D.

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.


A gentleman approached her and said:
"Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"


"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat!"
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"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest!


The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir anything you see down there is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"

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A man said to his girlfriend

"since I met you I've wanted to make love to you really badly"

"Well" she replied " You succeeded"
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Cruisings Cool

QUOTE:

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.


A gentleman approached her and said:
"Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"


"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat!"

"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest!


The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir anything you see down there is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Same joke twice in the same thread? Well it is a good 'un!

Sign seen in an office - the difference between this place and the Titanic is.... they had a band!