Topic: A funny joke for you

Let's have a few jokes to cheer us up in a cold January.
Here's one to start.

An old lady goes up to the bar on a cuise ship and asks for a whiskey and two drops of water. When the barman gives her the drink she says today is my birthday, I'm 80 years old today. The barman says, in that case please allow me to buy you this drink. When she has almost finished the drink, the woman sitting next to her says please let me buy you a drink for your birthday. Many thanks she says I'll have a whiskey and two drops of water please. As she finishes this drink the man on the other side of her says I would also like to get you a drink. Many thanks, I'll have a whiskey with two drops of water please. When the barman gives her this one he says to her, I'm sorry but I've just got to ask, Why only two drops of water with your whiskey.
Young man,she says, when you get to my age you know how to hold your liquor but to hold your water is another thing altogether.

Now it's your turn.

This fellow walks into a bar and goes 'OUCH'
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Cruisings Cool

It was an Iron Bar - OK
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Cruisings cool

"OLD" is when your sweetie says,
"Let's go upstairs and make love" and you have to say,
"Pick one or the other,I can't do both!!"

one snowman to another snowman 'can you smell carrots?' !

Mary had a little lamb....So she shot the sheperd

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I’m schizophrenic
And so am I


Neil

Lion and a Pig talking.

The Lion sez to the pig "When I roar people run a mile"

"Thats nothing said the pig "I only have to sneeze and people run a mile"
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Cruisings Cool

QUOTE:

It was an Iron Bar - OK
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Cruisings cool

The Goon Show, 1968. (or thereabouts)

The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is, they all run out except for one old man. So the Devil walks up to him and says " Do you know who I am?"
The old man slowly sips his beer and answers, "Yes I do." The Devil says, "Well then, why aren't you afraid of me?" The old man looks the Devil over and says, "Why the hell should I be scared? I've been married to your sister for 40 years !!"