Topic: The Perfect Table.

I don't know about anyone else, but one of the great joys of cruising is the company at your table.We usually ask for a table for 6/8,and have generally been delighted by our company.We approach our first night table with a mixture of excitment,trepidation,expectation,joy and fear.We have often pondered who we would choose to join us,what type of person,etc. if we had a free choice.The only single,simple way to define people is by job description(Irealise this is very rough and ready,and often totally misleading, but its all we've got).Here is a list of our ideal dining companions,
BEST TABLE-Solicitor(specialising in divorce),Ladies Hairdresser(ooo the stories)Rabbi(no we're not Jewish),Journalist,Hotelier,Airline Pilot.
WORST TABLE-Politician,Banker,Estate Agent,Insurance Salesman,Footballer,Professional Dart Player.
BEST TABLE OF BRITISH CELEBS-Gloria Hunniford,Jo brand,Jane McDonald,Miriam Margolis,Denise Welsh,John Barrowman,Dennis Skinner,Boris Johnson,A A Gill,Micheal Palin.
WORST TABLE OF BRITISH CELEBS-Jim Bowen,Gordon Brown,Piers Morgan,Matt Lucas,Amy Winehouse,Chrissy Hind,Charlotte Church,Cleo Lane.
WHAT ARE YOUR BEST/WORST????

You may like to reconsider A A Gill, recently castigated for his article about shooting a baboon (wanted to see how it felt to kill a living thing).

You wouldn't want to be in the main course and he decided on some sadistic experiments on you?

The Perfect Table for me would be the main contributors on this site.....Wilba

I agree that the mix of people on a table can be critical to the enjoyment of a cruise. This is where freedom dining scores over fixed seating as far as I'm concerned - if you discover you are stuck with people you would rather not share the planet with, let alone a table, it is only for one night. I enjoy a bout of verbal fisticuffs now and again, but it becomes exhausting if it is night after night and you find you are arguing with people who have had sense of humour by-passes.

Freedom dining allows you to meet a wider range of people, and it must be stressed, the majority are excellent company and we have met some wonderful folk who have shared some stunning experiences and have told some amazing tales.

Some interesting names already suggested. I would add Joan Bakewell, Germaine Greer, Stephen Fry and Jonathon Miller to keep fellow table companions on their toes.

Worst table: On first cruise, Golden Princess, Med. July 2002 - 1st Sitting at table for 4, our table mates were an Armenian mother and daughter from Los Angeles. mother was very pleasant and great conversationalist. Daughter was a whinger, moaner, bull sh**ter and had delusions of adequacy!

Most Interesting table: Coral Princess, Alaska, July 2004 -Dined with two American couples, one from Kansas celebrating their wedding anniversary and one elderly couple who were married, but not to each other!!!

Most boring table: Grand Princess, Norway, June 2007 - Dined with 2 elderly British couples who were related, all but one of them were deaf and with my hearing not being 100%, the conversation was either silent or we had to shout to each other!!!

Most enjoyable table: Grand Princess, Med, August 2009 - despite the c**p cruise, we had made some great dining friends and met on most nights. two ladies that will never be forgotten - I called them 'The Ladies Luncheon Club' but they were two lifelong friends, both widowed (one very recently) and they were excellent company. If Anne from Aberdeenshire and Thelma from Cheshire are on this forum - Lets meet up again next July on Crown Princess to Norway and North Cape, we had some great laughs!!

Dave

Hi Tony,I take your point,but just because i would want him on my table doesn't mean iIwould agree with anything he said.Hewould be there as aperson of wide experience who could stimulate conversation(just as he already has done with your good self).The worst guest would surely be someone with no opinion on anything,and who was boring to boot.Regards..Stan.

QUOTE:

I agree that the mix of people on a table can be critical to the enjoyment of a cruise. This is where freedom dining scores over fixed seating as far as I'm concerned - if you discover you are stuck with people you would rather not share the planet with, let alone a table, it is only for one night. I enjoy a bout of verbal fisticuffs now and again, but it becomes exhausting if it is night after night and you find you are arguing with people who have had sense of humour by-passes.

Freedom dining allows you to meet a wider range of people, and it must be stressed, the majority are excellent company and we have met some wonderful folk who have shared some stunning experiences and have told some amazing tales.

Some interesting names already suggested. I would add Joan Bakewell, Germaine Greer, Stephen Fry and Jonathon Miller to keep fellow table companions on their toes.

Hi Peter,thats one advantage of Fred Olsen,you get the best of both worlds,freedom at lunch,and fixed at night.I do like your choice of guests,perhaps a little weighted towards the arts though,Regards Stan

Hi Stan. Your topic, I hope, allows for recollections of table companions. Here are two that come to mind.

The first from a couple in their eighties who had married fairly recently. He was ex-merchant navy and had many a tale at hand. The tales tended to be rather long and very detailed (rather like Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses). He lauched into a long story about his wartime experience on a ship that had been rammed and cut in half by an enemy vessel. One half remained afloat and the seamen survived, the other half sank and all perished. After the story eventually concluded his new wife cut in "Remind us dear, which half were you on?"

The second relates to Jack, a middle-aged New Yorker of ample stomach with his much younger and slimmer Indonesian bride. On seeing fruit pie on the menu he said "Just like my mother used to make", "So you'll be having that then Jack then" we said "Lord no" he replied "she was a terrible cook".

Last time round we were on a table of 4, I am sure there are some wonderful charismatic accountants out there full of social skills and witty stories, our table guests were the opposite! lol

I like this topic

The best table we have had consisted of an independent property consultant and wife - British (great fun and highly knowledgable), An English engineer and his American teacher wife (also great fun and knowledgable), a 92 year old admiral and his 50 year old very attractive female 'travelling companion' - both extremely interesting people, my wife who is also great fun and multi-qualified in interesting professions, plus a boring old fart - me. :D

My only saving grace is that I'm in Stan and May's 'Best Table' list.

The 'travelling companion' was extremely well educated and had answered the admiral's advertisement for a travelling companion. The ad had ended with the letters s a i b - which stood for 'still active in bed'.

Although it is some years since we first met them we are constantly in touch with the first two couples and have visited each other a few times.

We only ever travel on ships with open dining and have never had a bad table but there was one couple on a table of eight that I think everyone tried to avoid. They were atrocious bigots (religious and racial) but, after the first 10 minutes or so, the rest of the table totally ignored them.